I tell you there was a LONG road to get here.. It took much PAIN, HEARTACHE, and STRUGGLE to make it to this point.. I am trying to live my life in the most positive light I can. You all might not know but I had some DARK days in my life.. I am so good at fronting and hinding my TRUE feelings.. I started to noitce I could no longer hide pain anymore..

One day I was reading a blog that Verbal Art wrote (April).. I was already at the stage of I am living for me now.. 2009 and 2010 taught me alot about people you let into your life.. See that NEGATIVE stuff never been me. So when I was allowing all those negative vibes fill into my personal space.. I too became a TOXIC person. I am still NOT perfect.. I’m still working at some more of my  issues…

I lost my happy go lucky, free spirit, outgoing self… Once I realize what it was doing to my health, my mind, and my soul.. I took ENOUGH… I ended up taking time to myself.. I shut down.. I mean I really shut down.. I found out what the TRIGGER was.. I was a weak body person.. I let my physical being take over my mental..  I never felt that a MAN was the key to happiness.. I did though feel what he had would be..  So I let body tell me what made me happy.. Well I know now.. I don’t need all that.. I wanted to be accepted by people.. It seems that people think more of you if you are in a relationship..  I tell those people now.. Yall can kiss my butt.. LOL

So anyhoo.. I found out what I wanted in life.. I found out that I didn’t need all that STRESS..  My happiness came to me one morning.. I said.. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to see another day.. You know. Right now I could be dead..  I been so close to it… I watched friends and family LOOSE thier life before that could even live theirs.. Well not me.. I am NOT going to be that person..

My happiness is me LIVING my LIFE for me.. I am now PICKING the BEST PEOPLE possible to come into my world.. See when you surround yourself with POSITIVE PEOPLE, GOAL ORINIETED PEOPLE.. The OUTCOME is oh so WONDERFUL.. I am now back into writing.. I hope to publish my stories in the next 5 years… I also put away all my fears…  I will no longer live for others… I will no longer worry about those who don’t even care enough about THEMSELVES…

I am spreading Happiness… I am spreading my Joy… I learned how to LOVE myself ENOUGH to keep it moving.. I LEARNED to know that LOVING YOURSELF gives you a better feeling than any other person could.. It will ALSO bring people that WILL TRULY LOVE you in the process….

This is my key to Happiness… What is yours?

I am about to take another BIG step in life.  I am starting to see the BIG picture… I walk alone.. Over the years of helping people. Always being there for other people… I finally realized… I have to do for myself.  I have to put me 1st now. I am about to gather my things and finally leave… I am moving in the next few months.. It is time.. I have to have that ALONE time for me.

Stress was beginning to build up… I am getting older.. I don’t need the added stress of everyday life to boggle me down. I believe that it is what’s best for me…

Winter a season that is filled with a lot of emotions..  It can be filled with love, joy, and also depression.. In the winter months the air is cold. The world slows down. It is also a time of reflection. I have caught myself many times reflecting and also crying.

The winter months seems to always be my down time. The weight of the world always fall down upon me. It is a lonely season.. I am just like the bears.. I become isolated, drained, and in need to go into hibernation.

Looking forward to spring.. A new beginning..

I am a passionate person. I love all people. I believe that LOVE no matter the difference is the way of life.  I grew up that way. My mother taught me to Love all people.. Even during the time I didn’t like white people. She would say, that person can’t help the way that they are. If they are good to you then that is all that matters.. So as long as they aren’t disrespecting you, then there is no need to hate them…

A lot of hatred is started at home.. See like in this photo.. The parents ignorance will make this child become a hateful, disrespectful human being.. Yea I said it.. As a child you must teach your child right from wrong.. You must instill in them the importance of love all things.. If a person is different from you.. It’s ok, God created each person different..  I wouldn’t want it any other way… I am different.. I like to be around different types of people.. Reason being is because this way my life will never be boring…

Well since this Bullying against Gay teenagers have came to the front line.. I feel a need to keep talking about the Hate and the Misunderstanding.. I hate to see a child grow up and not being able to be true to themselves..  Why live your life in a lie? A person will never be happy unless they choose to do just that.. Live their life the way they want too..

I grew up around homosexual individuals.. A few of them are people that I love more than anything in this world. You get it.. I love them.. To me they are PERFECT in their own way.. So why judge them? Do you not understand…. They are HUMAN…So what if you do not like their lifestyle.. It is not in OUR place to make them miserable.. I respect them so much more just because they chose to live their lives the way they want to and not care what others think…

Then we get those who don’t believe that children are born gay… I believe that some are.. Do you not know that when we are developing in our mothers womb, there are two chromosomes.. One can be more dominant than the other..

Heck, I have about more testosterone than I do estrogen..  We are all different.. Do you get my point.. ?  We sometimes have different feelings.. You can be taught to love the opposite sex.. Yet if you are having those feelings that is another story… The heart wants what the heart wants…

Then you have those sets that as an impressionable young person might have experienced molestation, evil parent, or temptation. It lasted with them for years.. Then grew up thinking that this was their way of life. I see this a lot especially with women.. They got tired of the games that men played on them, so they became a Lesbian.. Yet I don’t think those events what cause them to become Homosexual. Deep down inside they were always like that. It was just their choice to finally let go and live for themselves..

See society is so quick to judge.. Saying that it is in the Bible and these people are going to hell.. Now for me and growing up in church, They said God is a forgiven God.. God loves all the little children of the world.. Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins.. So if being a homosexual is a sin.. God still love them.. Right?

What ever happened to Love thy neighbor? What ever happened to treat others as they wanna be treated? Or does this not includes the LGBT community..?

No one should walk this earth and live in fear.. No one should have to be kept in the closet just because someone does not except their way of life. This hatred has to end. It is a lot of people I don’t care for.. You don’t see me walking the streets and harassing them.. You never once heard me talk about another person.. I respect those who respect me.

I feel for those kids.. A child should never feel that they can no longer live on this earth.. Parent got to learn how to communicate with their children more. Parents got to teach kids how to love… I just want to know what is all this fear is about anyway.. So what that guy acts like a a woman.. So what that girl looks like dude.. In the end they are still human and we got to respect their choices.. If you can’t then stay clear of them.. Keep your mouth shut.. Words can kill.. Words can hurt more than any fist around.. They want love to.. Just like me and you.. Every human being on the face of this earth wants to be liked and loved..  Can you be that person to stand up? Can you be willing to love a person for who and what they are? Isn’t that Christ like? I don’t see God turning his back on them.. So why should you..

I remember once getting so mad when Timmy came home upset because people kept picking on him. I wanted to go to the school and beat each and everyone of them.. I knew when Timmy was 4 that he was the way his was.. Yet my love for him NEVER changed.. I understood him. He could not help the way he was.. We had him spoiled rotten.. I defended him and to this day I still defend him..

I love all people.. I just hate some of this ignorance that people have.. Take time to understand another human being before you cast down your judgments.. Learn to spread love, give love, and receive love.. With all the people in this world, No Child, No Human, No Person, should feel that they are in this world alone..

Stop Bullying….

I love unconditionally.

I love with warmth and kindness…

I love with honesty and respect….

I love with trust….

I love the Beauty of love..

I give all of my love to the ones that know the meaning of it.

I never want to loose sight on what love means..  During the time I got to feel love it was a wonderful thing. To wake up in the morning knowing that person was or seemed like the reason to live. It was a breath of fresh air to feel such. To feel that again would to me be a wonderful thing.

I thank God every morning I awake. Life has it simple pleasures. I tell you I am thankful for my freedom. I know we all are not in a place to live in total freedom. Yet it is an blessing to be able to wake up, go outside and enjoy the world around us. It is a beautiful thing. Spring is here and seeing the flowers, the sun shining so bright. It is truly worth waking up too.

I never been one who just needed a lot of materialistic things.  Most of the things I love don’t even cost money at all.  I am now one of those people who wakes up and smell the coffee and roses. Believe me it took me a long time to get in that place.  I am so thankful that I have. I am now enjoying the simple things in life.  I am so ready to get back out there and live. No more stress my way. No more negativity my way. I am alive and I am so thankful. I going to continue to ride this life until the wheels fall off..  I give all thanks to God… He was the one who made all this possible…

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.”

Life is hard enough we all know it. It is the small things in life that gives each and everyone hope. It is a rough time right now. The economy, and people losing jobs from left to right.  It is hard..

Cherish the life you are living and make the best of it. We all go through storms but that is what makes us stronger.

Go out for a walk and take a whif of nature. It is spring time and almost summer. This is the reason for Spring it is God’s gift to us. He shows us the dead of winter can produce beautiful things.

So anything that might be troubling you at this moment.. Let it go.. Troubles don’t last always..  Live life and enjoy the small things..  It sometimes turn out to be bigger than what it seems..

“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.”

At this point I know we all are going through something. The economy is bad.  We have kids being hurt and killed by people they thought loved them. We are still in a war we really don’t know about.  People losing jobs and don’t know where our next meal is going to come from.

When things are bad, Pray. When life gets you down, Pray.. God is always listening. He might not send you  an answer right away, but he is always on time.

My parents always told me to take it to God.  I am a firm believer of the power of prayer.. I hope you all are too..

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

1 Corinthians 14:15
So what shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my mind; I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my mind

“Trying to grow up is hurting, you know. You make mistakes. You try to learn from them, and when you don’t, it hurts even more.”

~ Aretha Franklin~

We all hurt sometimes that is a part of life. We all make choices in life that we regret. It is always a positive side to everything.  If you are hurting, search for a deeper part of your being, FAITH. God will always help you come out a winner.

If you know someone is hurting, be a positive being in their life. Give them encouragement and support.

No one likes to hurt, but with friends, family, and the man above, things look a lot more clearer…

We have to take time out of the day to give praises. Giving praises to not only God but ourselves.

All the things we have accomplished and the things that we over came.

If we give ourselves encouragements we can over come anything that comes our ways. The depression will subside, the disappointments, will end.

Praise does wonders for our sense of hearing.”
Arnold H. Glasgow

So take out the time to praise yourself for all the things you have done..