The Key to My Happiness

I tell you there was a LONG road to get here.. It took much PAIN, HEARTACHE, and STRUGGLE to make it to this point.. I am trying to live my life in the most positive light I can. You all might not know but I had some DARK days in my life.. I am so good at fronting and hinding my TRUE feelings.. I started to noitce I could no longer hide pain anymore..

One day I was reading a blog that Verbal Art wrote (April).. I was already at the stage of I am living for me now.. 2009 and 2010 taught me alot about people you let into your life.. See that NEGATIVE stuff never been me. So when I was allowing all those negative vibes fill into my personal space.. I too became a TOXIC person. I am still NOT perfect.. I’m still working at some more of my  issues…

I lost my happy go lucky, free spirit, outgoing self… Once I realize what it was doing to my health, my mind, and my soul.. I took ENOUGH… I ended up taking time to myself.. I shut down.. I mean I really shut down.. I found out what the TRIGGER was.. I was a weak body person.. I let my physical being take over my mental..  I never felt that a MAN was the key to happiness.. I did though feel what he had would be..  So I let body tell me what made me happy.. Well I know now.. I don’t need all that.. I wanted to be accepted by people.. It seems that people think more of you if you are in a relationship..  I tell those people now.. Yall can kiss my butt.. LOL

So anyhoo.. I found out what I wanted in life.. I found out that I didn’t need all that STRESS..  My happiness came to me one morning.. I said.. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to see another day.. You know. Right now I could be dead..  I been so close to it… I watched friends and family LOOSE thier life before that could even live theirs.. Well not me.. I am NOT going to be that person..

My happiness is me LIVING my LIFE for me.. I am now PICKING the BEST PEOPLE possible to come into my world.. See when you surround yourself with POSITIVE PEOPLE, GOAL ORINIETED PEOPLE.. The OUTCOME is oh so WONDERFUL.. I am now back into writing.. I hope to publish my stories in the next 5 years… I also put away all my fears…  I will no longer live for others… I will no longer worry about those who don’t even care enough about THEMSELVES…

I am spreading Happiness… I am spreading my Joy… I learned how to LOVE myself ENOUGH to keep it moving.. I LEARNED to know that LOVING YOURSELF gives you a better feeling than any other person could.. It will ALSO bring people that WILL TRULY LOVE you in the process….

This is my key to Happiness… What is yours?

I choose to do this alone ….

 

I am about to take another BIG step in life.  I am starting to see the BIG picture… I walk alone.. Over the years of helping people. Always being there for other people… I finally realized… I have to do for myself.  I have to put me 1st now. I am about to gather my things and finally leave… I am moving in the next few months.. It is time.. I have to have that ALONE time for me.

Stress was beginning to build up… I am getting older.. I don’t need the added stress of everyday life to boggle me down. I believe that it is what’s best for me…

 

“None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Winter

Winter a season that is filled with a lot of emotions..  It can be filled with love, joy, and also depression.. In the winter months the air is cold. The world slows down. It is also a time of reflection. I have caught myself many times reflecting and also crying.

The winter months seems to always be my down time. The weight of the world always fall down upon me. It is a lonely season.. I am just like the bears.. I become isolated, drained, and in need to go into hibernation.

 

Looking forward to spring.. A new beginning..